


Colors

by suzuyaaaaa



Series: Colors [1]
Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Arcadia Bay is f i n e, Clubbing, Eating Disorders, F/F, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, POV Second Person, Reunited and It Feels So Good, and so is everyone in it, implied anorexia, max's pov, the storm never happened or existed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-12
Updated: 2016-06-12
Packaged: 2018-07-14 16:24:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7180079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suzuyaaaaa/pseuds/suzuyaaaaa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The world plays in slow motion and it's just you and her, and your surroundings are still in colors, but they're tainted by her presence.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Colors

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this a long time ago, and now i can post it here!! please enjoy!!
> 
> [hmu on my main tumblr](http://lilacgrowth.tumblr.com/) [or my lis one!](http://caulfields-camera.tumblr.com/)

Have you ever had a past love, a love where something went terribly wrong at the worst time, and everything suddenly broke like cutting off in the middle of a beautiful song? Have you ever had a past love like a fairytale that ended too soon, a relationship wiped away just like how the ocean carelessly runs over marks in the sand, washing away all the memories?

You think you're okay because of all the pain you've been through. You're done with the universe, but maybe the universe isn't done with you. You've fooled yourself into thinking that you don't care for her anymore. She's a distant memory, a dream, an alternate reality. You've fooled yourself into happiness.  _Temporary_ happiness.

You're dancing, and you see everything in bright colors until you catch the last person you expected to cross paths with ever again. You see  _her_. You see her in all her vibrant beauty. She looks more mature and womanly, more kept than you remember, but she's just as wild. Her hair is still as saturated as her eyes, and she's swinging her narrow hips to the beat of the song. The hues of her tattoo seem to shimmer in the light of the dance club, and she's so beautifully  _happy_ , happier then you could ever make her when you were together. You couldn't keep her for yourself, and now, she's gripping someone else's waist, her cerulean eyes closing as she loses herself in the music. It's without you. Everything's without you, her smile, her flushed face, her  _everything_.

You think of the pain you've caused her, how the split was your fault, how you tore up everything, and then... you remember what she did to you. You fucked up, but she did, too, and she crossed all the lines. Her screams reverberate in your head, and you tilt forward in pain, coffee-colored bangs falling forward and sticking to your sweaty forehead.

_"You're such a fuck-up, Max!" she screams._

_"Look who's talking, shit-face!" you retaliate._

You remember the fight like it wasn't almost a year ago. She said some shit she shouldn't have. You shouldn't have been such a bitch, but you were so fucking  _done_ with being her punching bag. When she screamed that you should leave her alone, you stupidly agreed. She cried out forever, and you said you couldn't care less. You said you hated her, and she said she never needed you. That was the end.

You know you both were to blame, but the pain she caused nearly killed you. You blamed yourself wholeheartedly, so you decided to punish yourself. Your sin grew paler as your ribs began to pop out of your sides because you didn't think you deserved to eat. Your wrists became adorned with new bracelets you made yourself, thin and red and  _painful_. You never slit in the same place twice in a row, so you didn't have any lasting scars. Not on the outside, at least. You knew you had to stop, but a voice kept taunting you about how you  _alone_ drove your bluenette away. The torture nearly killed you until Kate discovered the fresh lines of blood on your wrists one day, and you completely unraveled and broke down into a blubbering pile of sadness and frustration and anger. You sobbed for hours and hours, mourning over not only your loss of her but for the loss of yourself.

Kate comforted you like the saint she is, endlessly empathizing and embracing you. She even went as far as to teach you coping mechanisms. Maybe that's why you can barely say the punk's name anymore because you're  _still_ coping even now. Nevertheless, though, you slowly began to find comfort in photography once again, and you took risks. You won awards, and your artform managed to heal your broken soul. You're a new person, still Max Caulfield, but you're tougher. You know how to defend yourself, how to overcome adversity in your own way.

But now,  _she_ comes into the picture, into your new life outside of Arcadia Bay, and everything is crashing down. You feel like your stomach is being weighed down by a ton of bricks, sinking more and more with each second you use to keep looking at her. The world plays in slow motion, and it's just you and her, and your surroundings are still in colors, but they're tainted by her presence.

You see the red of your anger and pain, the color of the scratches you'd leave on her pale back and the dark accessories you sliced into yourself. Then, the world is flooded with the blue of your sadness. It's azure like the color of her hair and her eyes, and together, the shades mix around to form a halo of purple around the blueness. Every emotion from last year hits like like a slap in the face, and you feel like you're losing yourself again, and it's all too fast, but you can't stop looking at her. You can't stop looking at what you could've been.

The color inferno clears as the world returns to its original state, but you still can't tear your eyes off her glowing form swaying and swerving to the heavy bas of the song. You wonder if she tore herself apart like you did only to stitch herself back together into a new woman. She won't ever destroy like she did ever again, you know that much, and if she can't hurt you, then it doesn't hurt to watch her from afar.

Just as you're about to turn you gaze away, the vibrant blue head spins, and suddenly, her blazing blues meet yours, and your heart stops. Your heartbeat leaps into your ears, and your throat runs dry as she begins to shove her way through the crowd. She's recognized you, and she's coming back to you. _Why is she coming back?_ There's a hopeful gleam in her eye, a question, an impatient girl wanting a second chance. You don't know if there can ever be a second chance, but as she finally reaches you, your worries disappear as your mind goes blank. Her white cheeks are flushed a cool crimson, pink lips pouted out like rose petals, eyes stormy and blue like the raging ocean. She's wearing her goddamn beanie in here, too, that fucking nerd.

That's when you realize it. You realize that no amount of time can change the past and how you feel right now. You're a different Max Caulfield than who you were, but you're still in love with her. 

The realization sinks in further as her soft lips suddenly smash against yours, her tongue tasting of heavy alcohol and familiar hints of cinnamon and weed. You close your eyes as you feel the intoxicating drink in her system spread into yours, and her kiss blurs your senses. You close your eyes to hold back your tears as you lace your fingers into her messy hair. You still love your reckless Chloe. That can never change.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading!! apologies for any typos!! follow my tumblr(s) @caulfields-camera and @suzuyaaaaa if you wanna ;)) and part two of this will be up as soon as possible (from chloe's POV).


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